Walk Away

In 2008 I had the opportunity to travel to Columbia, Missouri for one of Barack Obama’s last campaign speeches of the election cycle. Despite what the media was telling everyone, there were people that were still undecided, and I was one of those people. I was certain that I would not be voting for Obama, but at that point I still hadn’t ruled out the idea of voting third party. The crowd was huge, and the atmosphere was electrifying. It was hard to not get swept up with the rest of the group I was there with. While we waited people were cheering singing, and dancing along with the music that was playing in the venue; for once this city truly did seem united.

I was pleased to find a spot almost directly in the middle of the venue, and thus the wait began for the man to arrive. People just kept pouring in the doors, the sun finally made its way under the horizon and the stage was flooded with spotlights. The music seemed to be getting even louder because I could not hear the buzz of the thousands of other people standing around me. Everyone’s attention returned to the stage as there was a flurry of activity. I can’t remember who introduced him, but suddenly the cheering returned and shortly after Obama jogged onto the stage. Pacing back and forth he waved out at the crowd of admiring fans, and then he smiled.

At that moment a chill went down my spine, but it was not a la Chris Matthews. His smile was surely supposed to invigorate the people before him, but all I felt from it was a giant “fuck you, fuck these people” vibe. I looked around and people around me were crying, screaming, seemingly in awe of this man. How could they not tell that he hated them? His body language said he desperately wanted to get out of that shithole town, he was fidgety, and his words came out quickly. He kept repeating the same thing over and over “we’re five days away from the election, and by now you all know who the best candidate for the job is.” So cocky, which I could tell people were mistaking for confidence.

Throughout the speech I slowly made my way farther and farther away from the stage. And when he exited the stage, I walked out acutely aware that I was probably the only person in that crowd who would not be voting for Obama. The same energy that pervaded the crowd at the beginning returned as they left, yet I could not join in. They were making a horrible mistake, but I wasn’t about to start explaining why, for I was basing this all on a feeling. I knew I needed to give my vote to the Republicans. 2008 was not the year to vote third party, if anything I needed to try and get every friend I could to vote against Barack Obama.

I #walkedaway from the Democratic party and I’ve never looked back. I actively try to warn those around me that the politicians from that party are wolves in sheep’s clothes. They are not to be trusted and they must never gain a majority again. Even the democrats at the local level despise their constituents.

2019 is My Year

I am officially tired of being who I am. It is time for me to change. After two years of dwelling on the past, and wondering how i could have changed my path, its time i give up and recognize that I cannot change it. The only thing that I can do is keep moving forward. I am 30, if I don’t work to get my life together now, it might not ever happen.